Addiction is a family disease. It affects everyone in the family system. Often it is family members who first recognize the addiction and attempt to seek help for their loved one. The Friary can assist you in getting your loved ones the help that they need. We also recognize that you have been affected by this disease. The Friary strives to assist family members in their own recovery process by offering a Family educational program, conjoint therapy sessions and an on-going continuing care group specific for family.

What to do if you think a friend or family member may have a drinking problem:

• Accept that alcohol abuse and dependence are illnesses that are treatable.
• Seek out resources in your local community such as AA, Al-Anon, and Alateen, as well as mental health clinics, therapists, clergy, doctors, and social workers who are knowledgeable about alcohol problems.  Don't let pride or fear block your efforts to get help for yourself and your friend or family member.
• Use the resources.  Do what you can to encourage your friend or family member to get help, but remember the only person you can change is yourself.  Don't hesitate to use the resources to help yourself.
• Don't make excuses for the drinker.  Family members often try to protect a loved one from the consequences of his or her drinking by making excuses to others.
• Time any interventions.  Talk with the drinker shortly after an alcohol-related problem that occurred.  Choose a time when he or she is sober, when both of you are calm and when you can speak privately.
• Be specific.  Tell the friend or family member that you are concerned about his or her drinking and want to be supportive in getting help.  Back up your concern with examples of the ways in which his or her drinking has caused problems for both of you, including the most recent incident.
• Seek out people and resources that can support you.  Keep in mind you are not alone.  There is hope and practical help available in your local community.

Use this questionnaire to evaluate the drinking behavior of someone close to you --->

• Do seek support
• Do remember that alcohol abuse and dependence are treatable.
• Do take care of yourself and allow the person with the problem to take responsibility for him or herself.
• Don't put yourself in dangerous situations.
• Don't argue, lecture, accuse, or threaten.
• Don't make excuses that give the drinker an "out" and block the motivation to change.